Our Society

Ferris Wheel- Alun-alun di Malang

We live in the world where society keeps reminding us the system, the norms, what's proper and what's improper. And they leave no space for compromises and they give no mercy for those who walk beyond their system, or against their norms.

And again we are somehow dictated by tradition, cultures, and our religion. Well I think those things I said earlier are essential for our life, and what's essential should not be made to make things harder for us to live.

VICTIM BLAMING

I live in a place where victim blaming is what everyone agree. The victim of one rape case for example often being seen as the one who was guilty for being too seductive. Girls in my country are told not to wear sexy clothes, but what the hell is the definition of sexy anyway? We cant show our cleveage, we cant wear shorts, we cant wear skirt in a public places. And tell me what is the reason. Girls you better put some clothes or else they'll rape you, and you fuckin deserve it.

Who deserves getting raped? Wearing clothes that is comfortable is not a sin.

While it seems that I made excuses for me wearing short pants or skirt, well it is not. I have no problem wearing trousers or more casual and not too revealing my parts of body kind of clothes. But the reason should not be 'put on some clothes or else you get raped'

Because rapist rape anyone that moves. Children, teenage, adults, old people, boys, girls, all has the same chance to get raped. Why? Because rape is what a rapist do. Even people someday consider to stop producing 'improper clothes' rape case will still exist. Trust me

Things that we should do is to educate more people not to rape. Educate our children to behave well, by well means to respect other people and not to hurt them.

So please stop victim blaming. Even a whores don't deserve getting raped!

NIGHT OWL

I am an night owl. I love staying up all night alone or with somebody to talk to. My boyfriend and I love to talk. We bought one or two cups of coffee, and that last for a night. We just talk, nothing else. But then, I have to come late to the room I rent, where I live.

Sadly, these people around my neighborhood loves to justified what is wrong and what is right. They love bad mouthing people like me. 'That girl who comes late with her boyfriend. This girl is probably not a good girl'

I 'love' the idea that good girl only exist when the daylight, and bad girls are exist when the night come. You know what, I really wished to open that tiny brain these people have and shove it some more logical perspective so they could see that all this time, their life is so undesirable.

Since I was a kid, Night Owl has been labeled so wrong that no one could ever make the right out of it.

Plus, bad people who make use of a less light from the sun to do evil things is just as bad as these people who love bad mouthing.

Oh god, why people could be so evil?

VIRGINITY

We have come to the very taboo topic going on these days. Especially in Asia, where virginity is the only sign of good girls (or boys). Especially girls.

I've made some research sometime before about why virginity had some special definition and is so important.

When we talk about virginity for girls, we like to talk about hymen. What is hymen? Hymen is that soft membranes that covers girl's vagina. The damage of hymen that in some cases causes vaginal bleeding is believed to be the sign when a girl losing her virginity.

Girls are told that virginity is important that those bleeding vagina because of the damaged hymen happened after penetration (with penis) should happened only when they're married.

Society believes good girls should not have sex before marriage. They should not lose virginity.

Why hymen? Traced back to a greek mythology that timezone. There was once a god named Hymen. This God should be present in every marriage. It is a sign that his presence brings good thing to that marriage.

When we translate it to modern world, we will notice that 'hymen that should be present' means girls should not break their hymen before marriage.

This ancient belief is now mistranslated.

To me virginity is a losing of innocence. Which is very common and will happen to every human being in this
world. After we were born, day by day we will know more things and will lose our innocence.

Having sex before marriage is nothing wrong to me. Because marriage nowadays is different as love. You may love someone but it doesnt mean you can marry him or her. But those who get married doesnt always mean they love each other.

But you should have sex with your loved ones. The most important is not when you will lose your virginity. But whether you are ready or not to have sex. You have to know about it before you have sex. You have to do it safely and nicely and with one you loved.

Why? Because sex is not a celebration or marriage but a celebration of love.

I have also do some research about the differences between making love and have sex. While both have things in common, but the difference is one you do with lust(no love) and one with love.

Well we all have lust.

But in some websites stated that when you make love with one you love, your body produce some chemical stuff that are healthy and important to you. While have sex (with only one person is in consent) mighy be hurt to the other person.

Well, what I'm saying is, making love is more fun healthier and happier with one you love. Because deep inside people are feel lonely, and love is one of the essentials things people need. Without being so idealist. I think each of us deserve some loves.

We are so concern about tradition, cultures, and religion, about proper and improper things, about norms, that we forgot how to treat other people and not being rude.

We are all just human, giving up ourselves to the system without evaluating it is not what a human do.
We made mistake of course. But we are also a human that should make compromises and leave some space to other people.

We share the some world, what makes someone have the right to rule over other people's life?